Once again, you have taken my energy, joy and tears. You are an interesting guest. I always know you are here, but sometimes you just take over and consume our entire home.
Tonite, you broke one of the rules we have taught our son. He knows he should not cut his hair and that there is an “expert” that does that. Yet, you somehow broke in and became bigger than what he has learned. He did not just cut a small piece, he cut so much that his appearance was startling and will require a buzzcut .
Why the tears, you ask? It is only hair you say? Well, the truth is, after he did it, he knew it was wrong, BUT, that did not stop him and he did not realize how it looked. He does NOT understand that people could be cruel and make fun of him or that it looks unusual. He doesn’t seem to worry about things like that, and that just makes me sad.
This is where I think you (Austim) take away so much from my son. Some will say, don’t worry, that is a good thing, how lucky you are that he doesn’t care. To all of you, I say, ” NO thank you, I do not feel lucky right now.” I want him to be aware and care. I want him to understand this all.
Just a day away from his 16th birthday. A day that is significant in many ways and a reminder of other milestones he will not be a part of. Autism, you are such a silent, yet, such a loud and obnoxious visitor.
I know we will get through this and know he is still the same kind and loving young man, but, Autism, this was an unnecessary visit and I really wish you could just leave and never come back.