It is approximately 4:30 pm; the FaceTime ringtone blares through the room. I don’t have to look at my phone to know it is Eli, calling me to practice what he has learned in class today. A series of questions follow my reply to the call. How was your day? What did you do? I try my best to keep up with the flow of questions that come from Eli. For one hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Eli attends classes to learn how to develop long term relationships with his peers. Eli learns what behaviors are appropriate, such as proper manners to use while in public. For practice, Eli goes to restaurants and orders his own meal and plays various games that involve taking turns.
Over the past ten years, I have developed a friendship unlike any other with my cousin Eli, a ten-year-old boy with autism. Eli radiates a joy that makes it impossible to be upset when you are around him. At any birthday party, Eli lights up the room. Whether he is belting out happy birthday to you or taking a video of you blowing out your candles on his iPad, he never fails to make someone feel important. Don’t even think about opening your presents or cutting your own slice of cake, for these tasks can be done for you by Eli. His constant joy continues as his scrawny frame runs excitedly up and down the soccer field and basketball court. When Christmas rolls around, Eli’s excitement is at an all-time high. Come December, every topic of conversation is dominated by decorating the Christmas tree, going on light tours, seeing Santa, and any other holiday related tradition. It is amazing to see his excitement level about things we view as miniscule.
Along with small acts of joy, Eli demonstrates his love of life and people in bigger, more meaningful ways as well. During every birthday, I receive a card with a hand-written note from Eli inside. To many, this brief sentence means nothing; to me, it means the world. Writing a sentence probably takes Eli at least fifteen minutes to do. Eli also takes the time to notice the world around him. Today people are so busy, always on the go, never taking the time to stop and really notice what is around them. If a road has recently been paved, or you just painted a room a new color, Eli notices and becomes ecstatic. In addition, his honesty is portrayed in every aspect of his daily life. If you wake up with morning breath, Eli will be the first to notify you. I’m sure these gifts Eli provides me with were never taught to him in a class.
Now that I think about it, it’s ironic. Eli is my social skills teacher. After years of being instructed on the proper way to act by countless teachers, coaches, and parents throughout my life, Eli is the one who has taught me more than any adult figure ever could.
Being Eli’s best friend, cousin, and student has shown me various lessons that I will forever keep with me. I know the importance of family, and how vital it is to show your loved ones how much they mean to you. Plans to have sleepovers, go to the mall, or just hang out at the local park with my family members are events I never want to miss out on. To be a true friend, a relationship requires sacrifice. I am constantly skipping school-related activities and sleepovers with my friends in order to watch Eli play basketball, a sacrifice I am more than willing to make. I can appreciate the little things in life, and see just how fun life really is if you look up from your iPhone to enjoy it.
Wouldn’t it be great if everyone took a social skills class?
Mackenzie just graduated from Deep Run HS and plans to major in Special Education in the Fall. In her free time she loves spending time with her family, friends going to the beach and volunteering with Special Needs children.