Happy Birthday Dear Marky!
15 years old! 15! How can that be? In so many ways, I feel like you are still 7 and still my baby boy. You still love so many of the same things you did when you were 7, yet you have this deep voice and are growing into a young man.
Last year, I “grew up” and made the realization that the parties I had for you, really were not for you. I wanted you to have what your sisters had with friends, entertainment, and activities. Although you participated in the festivities, you were not really a part of all of the fun. I was hosting a party for people that may not have even realized you were there. You knew it was for you, but it did not matter. Autism does this and I want to pretend it doesn’t. Some days Autism breaks my heart. The fears and the hopes become bigger than me.
15 years ago, I had a plan in my head of how our journey together would go. You showed us all that you were going to do it a little bit differently. When I struggle with the “what ifs”, I look into your eyes, watch your joy, and my entire being smiles. It is your zest and love of life that so many in your path become infected by.
Every day together, you continue to teach me and all that are lucky enough to know you a little more about patience, acceptance, and unconditional love. Maybe without knowing it, you also provide us with the tools WE need to be better people in this world: things books cannot and will not ever teach. Your lessons are the ones we all grow from. I am a wiser person because of you. I think about what I say and how I will say it. I have a voice that gets heard in ways I never planned on using it for. I am resilient and I am forgiving. These are qualities that really strengthen us as we grow !
Look at all of these gifts YOU give to me!
Today we celebrate you, but I am thanking you. Thanking you for teaching such great lessons about life in these last 15 years. Thanking you for guiding our family with your charm, perspective, and innocence.
I am a much better person today and every day because of you. In this difficult world, where their can be much pain and sadness, you keep me going with such a fierce purpose!
On this day, your 15th birthday, we will celebrate you!
~Your kindness and simplicity
~Your gentle soul & smile
~Your ability to dance to your own drum — wherever you are!
~ Your ability to positively impact all of those around you.
You’ve grown stronger and smarter. You are able to take a bus to school and walk to class alone. You put yourself to sleep and wake up all on your own, and you are the first one ready to go!
Today, I will try not to focus on what Autism has taken from us, but what is has brought to us through you.
Today, I will hold onto some of the simple dreams I have for you!
~I want you to have a friend
~I want you to have dreams
~I want you to feel like a part of the world
~I want you to be able to choose all that you do and be happy while doing it
Thank you for including all of us in this journey and for the memories we are making along the way. I am so thankful for each and every one!