Most of us struggle at one time or another at our children’s doctor appointments, whether it is with the waiting time,feeling heard or wondering if we asked all of the questions we wanted answered. When we are doing this with a Special Needs Child, we can feel even more overwhelmed.
Here are some ideas I have come up with in hopes to make it all a little more manageable.
Prepare your child for the visit before you arrive. Give them a little notice that the appointment is happening. Books can be a good resource for this. I have had other mom’s that use dolls or doctor kits to act out a little of what may happen at the office. Taking some of the mystery out of the visit is a great way to take away some anxiety.
Write down your questions and bring a list to the visit. No question is wrong, you deserve to have your thoughts and worries heard and if you do not have them written out , you may forget. I have actually handed over my list to one of our doctor’s and said that they could call me with the answers when they had some time.
Arrive at the office early, maybe 10- 15 minutes. There will always be forms, payment, check in- why not assure you are ready and take the stress out of rushing! Our offices tend to ask for our insurance card for each visit, so be sure to have that on hand too. Be sure to bring your insurance card and your child’s immunization record to each visit.
Allow plenty of time for the visit. When you make your appointment, know that there may be a delay on the offices end in getting you seen as well as all of the things that will need to get done in the visit . The nurse will ask many questions at first along with taking measurements such as height, weight, and blood pressure. There could also be developmental questionnaires for you to complete.
Stay calm and have a positive attitude .
Try to do a calming and relaxing activity prior to the appointment. Try to avoid rushing, so you and your child are not agitated coming into the office. An appointment for a child with special needs can be an emotional experience for both the parent and the child. If we as the parents can model a positive behavior and show confidence, our child will pick up on our energy.
Bring a spouse or friend. There is safety in numbers. If you are delayed in being seen or need a minute to be able to listen to the info being given, someone to help you will be a gift!
Bring a favorite toy . If your child has a favorite toy that they enjoy to play with or that brings comfort, have it to help! Something to do in the waiting room will be a good thing! We use word search or puzzle books. You may find that these toys can also provide some comfort or distraction when the doctor is completing their exams as well .
Don’t make promises you cannot keep. If your child is going to get a shot/ lab work, or you are are not sure, do not tell them they won’t, don’t tell them it won’t hurt , and don’t tell them that the nurses or doctor’s are the “bad guys”. Be as honest as you can. Say things like, ” I will be there with you”, “I am not sure if that will happen today, but if so, it will sting a moment and then you will get a band aid.” Stay calm, your child feeds off your energy.
Reward Your Child. When the visit is over, have a little celebration. A sticker, lollipop, whatever you may choose to let your child know that you are proud of them and celebrate a successful trip to the doctor!
Overall, I think it is so important to remember, doctors and nurses are regular people. They have good and bad days. They forget things, they are not mind readers and they do not know everything. YOU have to ask questions, you are allowed to question and even disagree with what they say. Don’t be afraid to voice your concerns.
One other tip I have learned, doctor’s don’t always know what goes on with other staff. If you are having an issue with a nurse or front office staff member, let your doctor know. They will want that info and do not want to lose you in their practice. On the same note, if you have a GREAT experience with a staff member, share it!
I hope this list has been helpful. I keep learning more as I am out on these appointments and will update anymore tips.